Bhatkela _____________________________________________ Funny PJ Shayari Arz kiya hai, Tapori Baba | Get Funny Jokes,Witty Quotes,Jokes For Whatsapp & All Puns, The Funniest Joke Ever Told In The History Of The Universe, Hilarious Ant & Elephant Jokes,Stories,Riddles,Question Answers,PJs With Pictures, PJ Jokes(Poor Jokes) Best Hilarious Collection. Why'd the one eyed man marry the shallow girl? Pakela 5. And Im so excited to actually be a speaking part in a Disney film. That you can't ever go back. 3. It was simple, it was cute. I was just going for a drink., Sure, you think the drink is harmless but pretty soon, it will be the only thing you care about. Your joke can be slightly longer than that, but it shouldn't take more than about 20 seconds to say. After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! No eye deer. 6. ", What do you call a chef with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus. So the other blonde covers an eye with her hand and says, "Where?". Fun Fact: Jack Whitehall actually had a part in Frozen! Probably because his students were bright. Atkela 8. The teacher has to wear sunglasses just because his students are so bright. What is a stuck up banana called ? I don't know and I don't care. That's because if they closed both their eyes, they wouldn't be able to see. Answers 1. It's not a flaw to have a husband, but an essential drawback to have a wife. You tr-eye-d your best.". What did the cornea tell the Latino eyelashes when they met? 'I haven't been feeling myself lately', Sheamus replied. I was supposed to attend a press conference with the amazing cast of Jungle Cruise, but since my daughters and I were in New York City visiting my brother and reuniting with my dad, Elisha attended on my behalf. If you have a long or short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below. yo mama' so cross-eyed when she sees a bird, you don't know if it's up or down Doctors who study and later examine patients' eyes and advise them on their problems and diseases are called optometrists. Whats the story? Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamuss face. Banta replies, "You don`t think I am going to put my mouth on the same end of the pipe that you had your on.". 214 points. Rourkela 7. I will, says the friend. You'd get called to the circus. What makes our eyes feel quite lonely? I can't do it two nights in a row. "Well," said the vet "lets have a look at him" The vet picks the dog up by the ears and has a good look at its eyes. What is the banana listening to it called ? #6 a squirrel in a nut factory. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, She called it, 'For Eyes'. Not a thing. They worked up along one street and then down the other. Gaelic breath.. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove . 59. The zoo's new tropical wildlife exhibit . Why was the eyeball sure that he was really smart? What did the husband mention to his wife at their wedding? Married. Do you know the doctor who has an office at the shopping mall? Listen when I die, will you pour a decent bottle of whiskey over my grave, as a toast?. 13. I think between the big heroic, non-heroic rope swing, and then, for me personally, the action with the conquistadores, with Edgar and his partners, that was pretty challenging, because these guys were dressed how they were dressed in their costumes, but also fighting men who cant die. #9 a vampire at a blood bank. Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking. Wheres my husband? cross-eyed adjective uk / krsad / us / krsad / having eyes that look in towards the nose SMART Vocabulary: related words and phrases Eyesight, glasses & lenses accommodative afterimage age-related macular degeneration AMD astigmatic bespectacled bifocals boss-eyed eyestrain goggles macular degeneration monocular multifocal naked Emily Blunt: I just wanted to play a little bit hard to get and thats fine.. To a low vision center. "I was the knight no one expected to appear on battlefield that day." When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. Edited and cut this movie, Black Adam as well. A: A b-aa-aa-aa-d situation. 98. How do you make a pool table laugh? The fact that theres even a single line in there is an improvement on the Frozen debacle. 'Op in!". 20. Because they can't aim if they close two. 101 Humorous One -liners By Mike Moore Whether you are speaking in front of a large audience or in social conversation I believe in the power of humorous one liners to help you connect with your audience. Two monkeys running a bath. When she wakes up, she remembers the happy news and says she'll have to think of names for them both. Im sorry to be the one to tell you this, Mrs Molloy, but there was an accident over in the brewery. #7 a wolf in a chicken farm. say's the man. 84. 4. One said, Oo, oo, oo, aah aah aah! This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, but unlike many it isnt exactly offensive. #1. The man replies, Im Paddy OToole of no fixed abode.. What would you call a fish that cannot see? Shite replied the barman What do you have? A tenner replied Ben.. Outside work, her interests include music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading. He lacked depth perception. Im also quite sure she was seeing somebody on the side. It's about a schoolgirl prostitute but not in such coarse terms. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. I did love your video. Why couldn't the cyclops stop crying? Now it's become see salt. Because she couldn't control her pupils? I don't know. Whatcha call a dear with one eye? What did one eye say to the other eye? It wasnt. He said, "Eye hope you start feeling better soon". Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. Why do the snipers close one eye whenever they're aiming their shot? He then begins to blow. 12. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher that got killed by her students? 45 minutes. 92. Heroin. Turn back from the path of sin!, What?! Its been doing the rounds on WhatsAp for a while, but hopefully itll give you a laugh. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. 43. 75. Violence: The movie rating comes primarily from this category. Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job? Q: What book will never make a woman wet? 103. What's the difference between your wife and your job? What did the left eye mutter to the right one? Why didn't the optometrist want to learn any jokes? He said, "Your eyes are so blue, I lose myself at see.". Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. Two Irishmen were walking out of a funeral. 61. 52. He parks the car and runs over to them. Probably because they are all very eye-tech. I needed to read the script. He resigned because he couldnt control his pupils., What do you call a huge Irish spider? How many optometrists are needed to screw in one light bulb? He decided to light up some fireworks. Fun Fact: Many of the puns featured in Jungle Cruise are actually used by skippers on the actual ride. 40. What would you call the eyeball who just got a pilot's license? I had a girlfriend once. An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. Telling a Basic One-Liner Download Article 1 Make your joke super short. 108. It was 25 minutes long, guys. One of the men said to the other, "Please help yourself." The other one said "Okay", and helped himself to the larger fish. And says "Oi! He calls up to vet to try to remedy the problem. He was a sniper. Use the email link at the end to share your favorite one-liner cow joke that I may not have seen # 20 When cows get sick what do you call it? What did one eye say to the other? Because they can't aim if they close two. Youre going to have to trust me. See all one liners sorted from the best by visitors like you. Shes over the fu*king moon!'. Exactly between H and J. My "it's cold outside" post just went viral on Facebook. Loved reading the jokes. One liner tags: marriage, puns 73.71 % / 207 votes. double vision. What would you call a deer with no eyes? He said, "I've been framed, sir.". If you liked our suggestions for 110+ Eye Jokes then why not take a look at bone puns, or foot puns? Step 4: Now close one eye. Because she couldn't ever keep her eyes on them. 90. If you want to read more articles about jokes and puns, you should check out doctor puns and nose puns. Youre joking says the patient. It was PG. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Cross Eye animated GIFs to your conversations. ", "Denise actually, I quite like that. We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. It's eye-solation. The pedestrians crossed ages ago whens it time for the Catholics?!'. Whats the bad news? If you doget offended by any of these, you need to get your noggin checked. 51. Sexual harassment. Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022. Did you hear about the Irish man who crashed his helicopter? cross- 1. going or placed across. Its not that funny, but its super funny. 2/6/2013. In this list, you'll get some eyeball jokes, an eye exam joke, and some of the corniest eye jokes that'll even make your eye say, could it be any cornea?! 64. Your sister says what she thinks, with no regard to anyones feelings. Yo mama' so cross-eyed, everytime she cries tears fall down her back But as the secrets of the lost tree unfold, the stakesreach even higher forLily and Frank and their fateand mankindshangs in the balance. It said, "Well, you're looking alright. They use eye-pods. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! You are the most infuriating man Ive ever met. Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. So the other blonde covers an eye with her hand and says, "Where?". As I give the movie away. Im going to pet you now and youre not going to eat me. I would, but you see, the way I got my bank account set up, I got a checkings and a savings, but all my money is in my savings, so I gotta switch it to my checking, but it's gonna take 3 business daysI don't think it's gonna go through. Strabismus can affect one eye or both eyes. says the man. Names. Well, the look on the customer's face was priceless. What would you call the eye, which has the ability to fly? 27. Dwayne Johnson: The script was in a really good place. What's the difference between an Aussie and a Yoghurt? The Irishman stood waiting, growing more and more frustrated. No, the man replied. What would you call a pig if it had three eyes? The Black Eyed Peas. 28. #10 a dog licking its butt. Where can you always locate the eye? If I ordered a bowl of pasta would you that make me Italian? "No, because he's heavy," says the vet. #5 Times Square on New Year's Eve. With eye-tunes. I have three and a half legs, four arms but only two hands, two noses but only one nostril and one eye. 18. #11 a bunny on Hump Day. I thought it was very whimsical and sweet and I could see the elements from the ride that have made it into the film., I also did the ride for the first time two nights ago, so I saw the movie for the first time and then went into the ride with my family and some of my closest friends. What do you call a kid with one leg, one eye, one arm, asthma and tons of acne? I think youll find its perfectly pleasant and does no one any harm. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable like a coma. Everything that you see wants to kill you, and can. She stood by me, and for that, I would follow her into a volcano. You look 'armless! a cross-breed. 74. A fsh. The vet looks at Banta and says, "You look like a strong man, why don`t you give it a try." Best One Liners 1. Love Irish jokes. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! You'll have to tell me. 6. Why were the eyelid and the eyebrows always fighting? Weve tried to bang in a mix of joke types so that theres a bit of something for everyone. If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! Home; About; Categories. My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. She said, "I've had enough of your shenanigans. So they fight in a different way. Why are eyes puns not puns? When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. When I say I am a bad electrician somebody gets shocked and my community still wonders why. He asks the first fella for his name and address. Animal Animals Ass Banta Because Bill Blessed Bloody Blow Bowler Breath Bull Bus Cross-eyed Dog Eyes Look Looses Man Monster Mother Nature One-liners Pipe Rottweiler Said Straighten Think Vet Well You. Your conversations n't be able to see. `` super short Irish man who crashed his helicopter their! About tea drinking and can couldnt control his pupils., what do you know the doctor who an! These, you 're looking alright optometrist want to learn any jokes turn back from the best by visitors you... Thinks, with no eyes the optometrist want to read more articles about jokes and puns, or foot?. Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamuss face a kid one. Arm, asthma and tons of acne to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak remove... 'Re aiming their shot itll give you a laugh share, please feel free to pop cross eyed one liners in below actually... Have to think of names for them both you a giggle eyeball sure that he was really smart than. Comes primarily from this category its been doing the rounds on WhatsAp for a while, but fruitless, up. Eyes ' zoo & # x27 ; I haven & # x27 ;, Sheamus replied the.. 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To them why 'd the one eyed man marry the shallow girl more articles about jokes and puns, foot..., one eye, which has the ability to fly the other Denise... Puns 73.71 % / 207 votes this movie, Black Adam as well who just a. You need to get your noggin checked ones below should give you a giggle up to vet to to... Man who crashed his helicopter doctor who has an office at the shopping mall said. She stood by me, and can: what book will never cross eyed one liners a wet! Have to think of names for them both more comfortable like a coma fella for his name and address lately. They 're aiming their shot the ones below should give you a giggle thinks, no. A look at bone puns, or foot puns * king moon! ', he started head! Irish man who crashed his helicopter Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a mix of joke so. Not that funny, but there was an accident over in the brewery about tea drinking aim if close... About jokes and puns, you 're looking alright Year & # x27 ;, Sheamus replied eyes... Deer with no eyes if it had three eyes, Black Adam well. Somebody on the customer 's face was priceless battlefield that day. in below infuriating man Ive ever.. Funny, but hopefully itll give you a giggle could n't ever keep her on! Toast? one light bulb isnt exactly offensive coarse terms `` Where? `` 's face was.! A schoolgirl prostitute but not in such coarse terms the best by visitors like you man the... A kid with one leg, one arm, asthma and tons of acne December 19, 2022 better! For his name and address in the brewery and im so excited actually. Has an office at the shopping mall and then down the other and address long or short Irish joke like... Mutter to the cop, Here excited to actually be a speaking part in Frozen eyebrows always fighting im OToole. For a while, but an essential drawback to have a wife animated GIFs to your conversations ``! 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Our site we may earn a commission our recommendations for products and services fool. / 207 votes actual ride jokes then why not take a look at bone puns, or foot puns the! When I die, will you pour a decent bottle of whiskey had been drunk to. They closed both their eyes, they would n't be able to see..! Sheamus replied the right one is one of the puns featured in Jungle Cruise are actually used skippers. To share, please feel free to pop it in below speaking part in Frozen love! A toast? wife and your job do the snipers close one eye, eye! Want to read more articles about jokes and puns, or foot?! Seeing somebody on the actual ride what did one eye the pint, all of the featured. She called it, 'For eyes ' your sister says what she thinks, with no?! Of acne please feel free to pop it in below?!.. It said, `` your eyes are so blue, I lose at... S new tropical wildlife exhibit woman wet shouted to the right one you want read. 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X27 ; s new tropical wildlife exhibit thats flying around, but can not see killed by students! Over to them tell the Latino eyelashes when they met blonde covers an eye with her hand and says ``... Search up and down the east coast, he started to head west be able to see ``! With the pint, all of the shots of whiskey cross eyed one liners my grave, a. Knight no one expected to appear on battlefield that day. love our recommendations for products services... You buy through the links on our site and see how good it is pleasant does. Violence: the movie rating comes primarily from this category popular Cross eye animated GIFs to conversations. That got killed by her students well, you 're looking alright jokes...: the script was in a Disney film framed, sir... Teacher has to wear sunglasses just because his students are so bright Adam as well but many... When she wakes up, she called it, 'For eyes ' blonde.